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Thursday, April 14, 2011

I Spoke Too Soon

First, Amazon giveaway can be entered here ($10 gift card), comments close on 4/28, the day I begin my last year in my 20's.

Anyway, I spoke too soon in my last post. Brennan got a little worse. Okay, a lot worse. Tuesday afternoon he had a breathing treatment. It didn't work, but his oxygen level was decent, so the doctor sent us back home and told us to continue to be vigilant. He woke up yesterday totally happy with no wheezing or rasping and very little coughing. Then he got way worse. As in choking/gagging/coughing for a good hour last night. We ended up at Urgent Care. Thankfully, his oxygen level, while lower than the level he had the day before, still didn't warrant admission to Children's. And thankfully, we have awesome neighbors who came over at 9:30 at night and stayed until nearly midnight with Cate so we didn't have to pack her up and take her with us.

We had Brennan rechecked today. His oxygen level is in between where it was Tuesday and last night. So it's going up. The pediatrician said that with Bronchiolitis, babies usually get worse before they get better and that we were probably seeing the worst last night/today. She said the worst part comes around day 3 or 4, which would be last night/today since this all started going down Sunday evening/Monday morning. I'm hoping we're going to start seeing steady improvement. And I'm praying tomorrow doesn't bring a trip to the pediatrician or Urgent Care. 4 out of 4 days so far this week we've been at one or the other (at the doctor's advice, not out of paranoia).

Brennan looks like this right now:
He's to sleep in his carseat or papasan seat until he can go through a night without coughing. We put the cool mist humidifier close by. And we bought a battery-powered nasal aspirator for him (much better than the bulb, but not doing a whole lot since he doesn't have much clogging up his nose-- it's all in his chest). A gracious friend took Cate for a few hours today so that she could get a little attention (she tends to freak out and want to be held when B is in the midst of a coughing fit and I obviously can't hold her). Another gracious friend is taking her tomorrow for awhile. Her son is only a few weeks older than Cate and they are great buddies. I'm blessed to have the opportunity to just stay with B tomorrow and help him rest (and hopefully get some rest myself). I really have awesome friends!

It would be so easy to blame myself for B's illness right now. To say that I shouldn't have taken him with Cate to the Children's Museum twice in one week a few weeks ago. To say that I shouldn't have ventured out to the grocery store with him or brought him into the waiting room at Cate's dance class or let my friends' wonderfully loving kids get close to him (even though they've all been healthy). To say I didn't wash my hands enough, keep my house clean enough, etc. But the reality is, he could've picked this up anywhere. Eric or Cate or I could have all brought the RSV-causing Bronchiolitis into our home simply from being out in public. We have better immunities to fight it off. He doesn't. But he will. His immune system is learning how to fight. It's been a scary week, but in the end, we know he's going to be okay and recover from this. It just takes time. At no point has Brennan even dipped into the "seriously concerned" or "critical" stages. Feeling guilty for no good reason isn't going to make him better.

A pediatric oncologist that visited Eric's work actually said germs are good for babies. He wasn't advocating that you take your newborn to a germ-infested elementary school classroom and let every kid with a cold breath on your infant. Nor is he saying that you need to take your baby some place every day to get him/her out and exposed. But rather, he thinks it's important to continue living your normal life and bringing your baby with you-- even if it does expose him to germs because you have to leave the house and do things. Babies are born in sterile environments. Not leaving your home and perpetuating that sterile environment only hurts them when they're older. When babies and young children are exposed to germs, they learn how to fight them off and strengthen their immune systems. And yes, they should be at home when it's recovery and rest time. It's stressful for Mommy's and Daddy's to see their little ones so sick, but the majority of kids make full recoveries while a very, very, VERY small few need hospitalization to help them recover.

So we're giving the little guy extra snuggles and kisses and love. We're making extra time for Cate as well and constantly reminding her how proud we are of her for helping us take care of her baby brother. And we're hoping the weekend brings improvement and rest for us all.

~Melody :-)


Emily said...

I'm glad he is gradually improving. And don't beat yourself up about this at all. B is old enough to go out and about with you and Cate. How unfair for you all if you always stayed at home because of paranoia that he might get sick. How scary to have to deal with it though. Here's hoping you make no more trips to the doctor/Urgent Care this week! :)

Carly said...

Sorry to hear that B is still not feeling well! Hope that this is the worst, and things turn around. At least he is sick while you are home on leave, and not when you are trying to work, and need to take time off.

Anonymous said...

You should definitely NOT blame yourself for B's situation! You are a fabulous mommy and wonderfully courageous for all of the awesome things you do with Cate and B. :) I'll be praying that he is on the mend ASAP.