If there's one thing I've learned about myself over the course of the last year as I've delved more into my faith, it's that I have a hard time receiving. I have a hard time accepting when someone wants to do something nice for me "just because." I used to think accepting these blessings from family and friends made me week...like I couldn't "do it" on my own. And while I never turned down an offer of dinner, someone wanting to watch Cate for a bit, help around the house, someone willing to make my copies for me at school, etc., it has always made me feel awkward accepting that. But God's been working on me in that area. It hasn't been so awkward lately, this receiving.
I do the same thing with God too. He wants to bless us. But there's a part of me that during times of blessing, can't help but think in the back of my mind what problem/tragedy/crisis/mistake is right around the corner. A part of me that thinks if things are going so well now and seem to good to be true, then something bad must be on its way. Which totally isn't the case. God blesses us because He can. Because He wants to.
And so I've received this week as a blessing. A huge one. On Monday we had a snow day. It was a nice, unexpected day off. In fact, a delay might have gotten the job done as the roads were clear by the time Cate and I ventured out to the museum. But I cherished it as time with my sweet girl while she's still my only child. Eric had a day off on Tuesday and was originally going to send her to the babysitter so he could get some stuff done around the house. But because our sitter's daughter was sick (and we're taking no chances with Cate this close to Brennan's arrival), he kept her home with him and got to enjoy the blessing of some time with her as well. Unfortunately, she woke up from her nap with a hive-like rash, so it was off to the pediatrician (after my last visit to the OB...hooray!).
Turns out that Cate wasn't lying when she said her ear hurt on Sunday. She definitely had an infection, but the infection triggered an auto-immune reaction (the rash). Armed with Benadryl and an antibiotic, we headed home. I spent all day yesterday with her to make sure the rash was clearing up, her low grade fever stayed down, etc. And then there's today. Another snow day. I'm not complaining. Eric even got a half day off, so we all had time together this morning. We played in the snow:
A lot of this was consumed (yes, it's decaf): And I finished something I've been working on for awhile:
Yes, Brennan's newborn blanket is done. It's in the wash now (I've knitted in so many places, that I figured it needed a turn on the gentle cycle). It's not perfect, there are definitely some flaws in some places. But I love it. I love it because as I knitted it I thought of him. And I thought of the verse in Psalm 139 about God knitting us in our mother's wombs. This blanket has literally taken me dozens of hours. I started in June (granted, there were whole weeks that went by when I didn't touch it). It went with me to Hocking Hills with our small group, Arizona, Hilton Head, Hudson, doctor's visits, school, Bible study, etc. And now it's done. And Cate wants one. In purple. I picked up bigger needles and chunkier yarn for hers though, so it shouldn't take nearly as long. The fine baby yarn and thin needles were pretty much the reason Brennan's seemed to take forever.
So I'm enjoying the blessings. Accepting them without feeling awkward. I'll most likely have school tomorrow since no more snow is predicted and Cate will be back in her normal routine. It's kind of crazy to think that this time next week, we'll have a snuggly newborn boy (wrapped in a blanket made by mama) to cuddle with.