Loving One More?

I'm linking up with Shell today for Pour Your Heart Out.

Today's topic is one that I've thought a lot about now that I have two children-- one of each gender. I read this post a couple of weeks ago. It was one mom's confession of why she thought she loved her son just a little bit more than her daughter. A lot of it had to do with the vastly different birthing experiences she had with each of her children. If you read the post, read the follow-up here.

The thing is-- I get what she's trying to say. I wouldn't say I love Brennan more than Cate or Cate more than Brennan. I love them equally, but I love them differently. My husband and I even had a discussion about this after I read that post. He feels the same way. Through our discussion, I kind of came to the conclusion that it mostly comes down to gender (though not all, because I realize parents of children that are the same gender probably feel like they love them differently too).

Cate is a lot like me. And while it's important to be her parent and not her BFF for the next couple of decades or so, I hope we'll eventually grow to be friends as she transitions into an adult. Much like the relationship my mom and I have.

(shooting bubbles with her bubble gun)

I talk to my mom just about every day. Sometimes it's just for a minute or two. It was a habit we got into when I was pregnant with Cate and she'd call to check on me. But even before that, I talked to her a few times a week. We're friends. I value her opinion and advice. Though there were moments as a teen in which I thought I hated her, at the end of it all, I realized she always tried to do what was best for me and it's probably why we get along so well now. No matter how many girlfriends Cate envelopes into her own life, I hope she'll make a place for me when she becomes an adult.

(tap costume preview)

But Brennan? He's a little different. He will grow up and I hope we are friends too. But I know that I will not always be the number one woman in his life (and I shouldn't be). I hope he'll want to talk to me and that he'll value my opinion and advice, but ultimately, I hope he finds the kind of love I have with his Daddy-- I hope he meets a woman that exceeds anyone I could imagine being his partner for life. And I think that's why I love him differently. Because I know that even though the day is far away, the day will inevitably come where the leading lady role is fulfilled by someone else. In fact, this post puts what I feel into words quite well.

(holy cow-- when did he get big enough to sit in an exersaucer)

And Eric feels the same way, but opposite, y'know? He knows he won't always be Cate's leading man, but he hopes and prays that he and Brennan are always good friends-- that they can catch a game together, or go have a beer together, or exchange regular emails or phone calls.

So that's why I feel that while I love my children equally, I also love them differently. Not more, just different.

~Melody :-)

PS...Tomorrow I turn 29 for real (as opposed to turning "29 again," though I think I'll be one of those women that fully embraces 30 the way I've fully embraced the strands of white hair I've found on my hair instead of running to the salon for highlights and color). So my giveaway will be closing with a winner announced on Friday. Comments for the giveaway will close somewhere around 4:23pm (EST), the time I came into this world. So go. Enter.