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Sunday, February 26, 2012

Growing Up is Tough...for Momma too!

This weekend brought about one of the hardest moments of motherhood for me thus far. Just before 5am on Saturday morning, Cate woke up to use the bathroom. Instead of going back to bed (she normally doesn't rise until 7/7:30), she proceeded to throw an epic temper tantrum about going back to bed. A temper tantrum like we've only ever seen on one, maybe two, other occasions.

We went through our normal consequence routine and it had zero effect on her. So I did the only thing I knew would get her attention. I told her she couldn't go to her friend's birthday party later that day. A party her friend really wanted her to be at and a party she really wanted to attend. The tantrum settled down after that, but Cate still refused to go back to bed and sat in defiance, awake on the couch, until the sun rose.

When the reality set in that she wasn't going to get to go to her friend's party, she started telling me she was sorry she had made a bad decision. She promised she wouldn't get up before the sun the next morning. In short, she was heartbroken.

But I stuck to my guns. I knew if I backed down, she would think she could get away with it another time. We did allow her to take her friend's gift over later in the day, after the party. She apologized to her friend too.

I think she learned her lesson. She was in bed by 6:45 last night and when she woke up this morning at 6am to go to the bathroom, she went right to back to bed and didn't get back up for another hour. I have no idea if she actually went back to sleep, but I have to commend her for doing the right thing.

She's starting to learn a lot of lessons as her personality continues to develop. Last week was parent observation week at dance class. I was amazed at her ability to listen, follow directions, and try her hardest to do what she's being taught. This time last year, when Cate started dance, my girl was lost. She hung in there, but for the most part just did her own there and frequently came to the waiting room to make sure I was still there. Now she never comes to the waiting room and listens like a pro. I'm so proud.
It's making me excited for this year's recital!

video

Growing up is tough and so are the lessons that go with it. But I stand by my decision yesterday. And I know Cate is only better for it.

~Melody :-)

2 comments:

Carly said...

It's hard to make the decision and stick to it, but it makes all the difference. I think that the biggest mistake that parents make is lack of consistency. They throw out threats, and don't hold to it. I see this all the time in teaching. Before having Kyton I thought I'd be tough and hold to it, but I can already see that it is so much easier as a teacher to 'be mean' than with my son. I'm sure that by sticking to it you've spared yourself many fights, but it's so hard to follow through in the moment.

tricia said...

I think when I have my first moment like this with N (because I know it's coming), I'm probably going to have to sneak off to a bathroom and cry.

Good for you for doing the hard (but BEST!) thing!